Writers of Tomorrow: A Summer Of Writing Challenge #1

8662865 Member Posts: 51 Level 2 | Newcomer

So I am definitely going to be quite busy during the summer so I probably can't do a story every day, but I can definitely do once a week! Here is something I wrote for my Creative Writing Club yesterday:

“One Two Three Four, One Two Three Four”, Gabriel counted out his steps. Gabriel was running, sprinting at the fastest speed he could sprint at. It was lightly raining outside, he could hear the splashing of his shoes hitting the puddles on the concrete. Behind him, he could hear loud splashing from the girl stalking him. After running for what felt like forever, Gabriel stopped and took a break, panting. He thought he had finally lost her, and the rain started slowing to a stop when a crack of lightning struck right in front of him; in the dark alleyway in front of him appeared the girl, illuminated by the neon pink lights of the billboards. She was looking right at him, almost right through him, and smiled sharply. It was terrifying.

Tell me what you think!


  • Noora7
    Noora7 Member, Tallo Ambassador Posts: 1,548 Level 6 | Advocate


    I plan on taking a creative writing class either next year or my senior year!!

    I love it! There are definitely lots of details - it's helping me paint a picture of the scene in my head!

    Keep it up! (and share more of your work when you can)! :)

  • 8662865
    8662865 Member Posts: 51 Level 2 | Newcomer

    I am glad you liked it! I would definitely recommend taking a Creative Writing class, obviously, I am biased because I took one, but you can learn a lot, not even just about writing fiction, but structuring essays and how to summarize better! I will definitely do another one again, maybe something I wrote for myself and not for my club!

  • EshanSri
    EshanSri Member Posts: 31 Level 2 | Newcomer

    It is highly descriptive which is good, but the entry of the girl is a bit jarring and confusing. It needs a better backstory, but otherwise it is very good and I can't wait to see what you will write next! 👍

  • 8662865
    8662865 Member Posts: 51 Level 2 | Newcomer

    Thank you for the feedback! There was a prompt and I didn't include it in the writing, which is why it may seem a little confusing

  • Autumn_Sunshine
    Autumn_Sunshine Member Posts: 247 Level 5 | Seeker

    I really like it!! Thank you for sharing.

  • GraceBrusky_Official
    GraceBrusky_Official Member, Tallo Ambassador Posts: 4,034 Level 9 | Champion

    wow! Great work, i love it!!!!